Hello,
When I was 12 years old, I was taught "Judo (pronounced Joo-Doh)," roughly translated "The Way of Drinking." Some calls it "Drinking ceremony" which I don't think is an appropriate translation. But the point is that, just as we have tea ceremony, we also have alcohol ceremony. Unfortunately with change of social structure, I see a lot more people who twist the meaning of Judo.
When you reach "adulthood," you are taught Judo by adults. Details are cumbersome, but the basic principle is always the same – enjoy what's given to us with moderation and respect.
Cutting to the chase:
- About not filling the cup for yourself but for others - True and not true. You are to fill up others' cups first before you fill yours. It is not impolite to fill your own cup, but if you are filling your cup while others' are empty, then you are taking care of yourself first, not others. Hence, it is considered rude. The same applies if you see others' cup empty and leave it empty. You are expected to fill up the cup when you see the empty one.
- When someone fills up your cup, after thanking him/her, you take a small sip and place it on the table before you finish it. You are not expected to drink it all. You are not to do bottoms-up. Wetting the lips is acceptable and considered graceful.
- When filling up someone else' cup, unless you are a close friend to him/her or younger person who has a close relationship with you, you always use both hands. You may have seen some people crossing their hands, but it is meant to hold the bottle/kettle with two hands. Some people may touch their sleeves or elbow with a hand that is not holding a bottle. It came from a custom of holding long or baggy sleeves up so that it won't touch any objects beneath it. (Korean traditional dress has round, baggy sleeves.)
- You never drink to drunk-state. You do not force each other to drink to drunk-state either. It was a culture of "lower class" in old times. Repressed people in lower class used to drink a lot because that was their only exit: get drunk and forget. Excessive drinking makes anyone a dog, if not a monkey. You are expected to take care each other at the dinking table; drinking or forcing others to drunk-state is exactly the opposite. Unfortunately modern Korean culture tends to think almost-alcoholic state is cool state to be. It's sad.
- Turning down: if you are with close people, you can simply put the cup upside down. This is rare, though. You always accept the drink graciously if anyone offers it. While doing do, you simply state that you can't drink any more and provide legitimate reason: you have to drive; you are on medication, you have doctor's order, etc.
- Turning down: people will ask you to finish your cup so that they can fill up your cup again. They are to do it up to three times. You are to cordially turn it down three times. That should be end of your drinking for a night. If anyone forces you to drink beyond that time, you can safely and quietly conclude that person has not received proper education and is not considerate. :)
- Turning down: after you receive another cup of alcohol and have a sip to show thanks, place on the table and don't touch it again. When your cup is filled, no one asks to fill up your cup anyway.
- If older person or higher-ranking person offers you a cup, you are not to turn it down. Empty the current cup by drinking it, receive it, and let him/her know that you can't take another cup. Provide a good reason that you can't. When I don't have a good excuse such as driving or have another business to tend to later on, I simply and honestly state that I am not good with alcohol or not feeling well enough to drink much. Be assertive when stating that. Otherwise, some people will think that you are being just cordial. And will offer more alcohol again and again.
- Before offering a new cup/drink, offer snacks first. Drinks are meant to accompany food. Alcohol accompanying meal is called "Banju (pronounced Baan-Joo).” When we are solely drinking, there always should be some kind of snacks to ease your stomach damaged by alcohol. You are expected to offer them time to time and show thoughtfulness.
I can go on..., but for now I think this is enough? Ask away. I left Judo book in Korea when I left the country more than 20 years ago. But I still remember most of them.
Enjoy,
Zeanie E. H. Yoon ARTICLE:> -----Original Message-----
:> From: liching hoh [mailto:lchoh@hotmail.com]
:> Sent: Sunday, February 27, 2005 4:30 PM
:> To: TheKoreanLanguage2@yahoogroups.com
:> Subject: [TheKoreanLanguage2] KOREA drinking cuLture.. ~~
:>
:> HI everyone,
:>
:> Anyone understands Korean drinking-culture well ?
:> I konw it's showing respect to drink soju / liquor by filling up
:> not for your self for others. How about drinking with cross-hand
:> or drink to drunk-state? I heard that to make someone's guest
:> drunk is to show good hospitality... ^^ tell me that...
:>
:>
:> RGDS,
:> LC